i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
