Already got asked if we're dating
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
