The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
