ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
