4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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