Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
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I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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