i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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