i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
