Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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