Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize