she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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