You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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