I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize