Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
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It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
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Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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