tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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