addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
