All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
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You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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