so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
