She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
