Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
