You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
