We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
