Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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