it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
