You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
