i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
