i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
