He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
