You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
