i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
