the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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