I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize