Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
