Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
