Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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