And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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