dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
