I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
