I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
