I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
