I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
