Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
