you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.