when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe