But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk