I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
