shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
