i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
