im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
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She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
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Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
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