Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I wear drunk well.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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