If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
