i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize