Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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