First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
