You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
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i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize