3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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