I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
