the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
