So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
home. puking in laundry basket.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
