there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
