dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
