Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
