I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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