AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
