One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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